未竟初恋的依恋表征及其对择偶策略影响的探究
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摘要
初恋(first love/early love/first romantic relationship)是一个人第一次步入异性的世界,有的人的初恋成功了,但更多的是未成功的。初恋对一个人的爱情观以及未来的择偶策略有着深远的影响,尤其是未竟(未完成)初恋。因此,对未竟初恋的研究有利于当代大学生的爱情观教育。
本研究旨在探究未竟初恋对人们择偶策略的影响,因此,对初恋没有明确的时间和行为界定,而是以被试自己心中的初恋标准为参考标准。未竟初恋是指两个人的初恋没有步入婚姻殿堂就结束了。本研究主要运用质性研究和量化研究相结合的方法,通过开放式反应的问题,作为深入访谈的手段,获取有意义的资料,根据访谈后形成的文本资料,进行开放编码、主轴编码,最后选择编码成核心类别,并对核心类别、概念词、要素点等进行量化。
结果表明：
(1)初恋的开始方式中,男主动追求的远多于女主动追求的,最初开始时是同学关系(占被试总数的56.25%)的最多；
(2)绝大多数被试都认为初恋是美好的,幸福的,是人生一段美好的回忆,甚至有的被试认为初恋是人生最宝贵的回忆；
(3)初恋的依恋类型以安全型(70.0%)为主,另有一些被试是淡漠型(23.75%)和焦虑型(6.25%)；
(4)初恋的依恋表征主要包括5个核心类别：相遇、相知、相爱、分手、爱的感悟；
(5)初恋的择偶条件中比较重视外表等外在的东西,相比之下,婚姻的择偶条件以强调人品、责任为主；
(6)初恋结束以后的择偶策略更倾向于算计式择偶策略,并且女性相比男性更偏向算计式择偶策略。
First romantic relationship is the first time that a person contacted opposite sex closely.Some people successed, but more are unsuccessful. First romantic relationship has profound influence on a man's love view and mate selection, especially the unsuccessful. Therefore, the study for first romantic relationship has a positive influence for the education of the contemporary university student.
This study aims to study the influence of unsuccessful first romantic relationship to mate selection.Therefore, we don't make explicit time and behavior definition for first romantic relationship, but the first love in their heart.Unsuccessful first romantic relationship is that the first love is over before wedding. The main method of this research is using qualitative research and quantitative research combined. According to the content, we selected the person whose first love was unsuccessful. All the data was collected by the in-depth interviews. Using the question of open reaction as the means of in-depth interviews, we analysed the information by open coding, axial coding, finally selective coding into the core categories, and quantify the concept of core classes, concept words,elements.
The results showed that:
1.At the beginning of first love, male is more active than female, and most of the original relationship are classmates(56.25%);
2.Most of people think that first love is bright, happy, and sweet.Some people even think that first love is the most precious memory in life;
3.The types of first love attachment styles are the safe (70.0%),the indifferent(23.75%) and the anxiety(6.25%);.
4.The attachment representation of first love includes 5 core categories:meeting,knowing each other, loving, breaking up, and awareness;
5.The people in first love is more careful in condition of outside, compared with the external conditions in marriage;
6.After the first love,the mate selection strategies is tend to calculated mate selection, and female is more tendency to calculated mate selection than male.
本研究旨在探究未竟初恋对人们择偶策略的影响,因此,对初恋没有明确的时间和行为界定,而是以被试自己心中的初恋标准为参考标准。未竟初恋是指两个人的初恋没有步入婚姻殿堂就结束了。本研究主要运用质性研究和量化研究相结合的方法,通过开放式反应的问题,作为深入访谈的手段,获取有意义的资料,根据访谈后形成的文本资料,进行开放编码、主轴编码,最后选择编码成核心类别,并对核心类别、概念词、要素点等进行量化。
结果表明：
(1)初恋的开始方式中,男主动追求的远多于女主动追求的,最初开始时是同学关系(占被试总数的56.25%)的最多；
(2)绝大多数被试都认为初恋是美好的,幸福的,是人生一段美好的回忆,甚至有的被试认为初恋是人生最宝贵的回忆；
(3)初恋的依恋类型以安全型(70.0%)为主,另有一些被试是淡漠型(23.75%)和焦虑型(6.25%)；
(4)初恋的依恋表征主要包括5个核心类别：相遇、相知、相爱、分手、爱的感悟；
(5)初恋的择偶条件中比较重视外表等外在的东西,相比之下,婚姻的择偶条件以强调人品、责任为主；
(6)初恋结束以后的择偶策略更倾向于算计式择偶策略,并且女性相比男性更偏向算计式择偶策略。
First romantic relationship is the first time that a person contacted opposite sex closely.Some people successed, but more are unsuccessful. First romantic relationship has profound influence on a man's love view and mate selection, especially the unsuccessful. Therefore, the study for first romantic relationship has a positive influence for the education of the contemporary university student.
This study aims to study the influence of unsuccessful first romantic relationship to mate selection.Therefore, we don't make explicit time and behavior definition for first romantic relationship, but the first love in their heart.Unsuccessful first romantic relationship is that the first love is over before wedding. The main method of this research is using qualitative research and quantitative research combined. According to the content, we selected the person whose first love was unsuccessful. All the data was collected by the in-depth interviews. Using the question of open reaction as the means of in-depth interviews, we analysed the information by open coding, axial coding, finally selective coding into the core categories, and quantify the concept of core classes, concept words,elements.
The results showed that:
1.At the beginning of first love, male is more active than female, and most of the original relationship are classmates(56.25%);
2.Most of people think that first love is bright, happy, and sweet.Some people even think that first love is the most precious memory in life;
3.The types of first love attachment styles are the safe (70.0%),the indifferent(23.75%) and the anxiety(6.25%);.
4.The attachment representation of first love includes 5 core categories:meeting,knowing each other, loving, breaking up, and awareness;
5.The people in first love is more careful in condition of outside, compared with the external conditions in marriage;
6.After the first love,the mate selection strategies is tend to calculated mate selection, and female is more tendency to calculated mate selection than male.
引文
[1]Casler, L. Is marriage necessary [M].New York:Human Sciences Press,1974.
[2]Winch, R. F. Mate selection [M].New York:Harper & Brothers,1958.
[3]Greenfield, S.Love and marriage in modern America:A functional analysis[J].Sociological Quarterly,1965,6:361-377.
[4]Walster, E.Passionate Love[A]//In:Murstein, B.I. Theories of attraction and love[C]. New York:Springer,1971,85-99.
[5]弗洛姆.爱的艺术[A].朱荣贞,林和生,等译.弗洛姆文集[C].北京：改革出版社,1997：333-431.
[6]Rubin, Z.From liking to loving:Patterns of attraction in dating relationships [A]//In:Huston, T.L. Foundations of interpersonal attraction[M].New York:Academic Press,1974.
[7]唐利平,黄希庭.择偶观的进化论取向述评[J].西南师范大学学报(人文社会科学版),2005,31(3)：43-48.
[8]Norman, P. Li.Mate preference necessities themselves what their mates prioritize in them[J].Acta Psychological Sinica,2007,39(3):528-535.
[9]Gangestad, S. W.,& Simpson, J. A.The evolution of human mating:Trade-offs and strategic pluralism[J]. Behavioral and Brain Sciences,2000,23:573-644.
[10]蔡琴凤.择偶策略的影响因素[J].社会心理科学,2009,24(1)：24-28.
[1l]乐国安,陈浩,张彦彦.进化心理学择偶心理机制假设的跨文化检验——以天津、Boston两地征婚启事的内容分析为例[J].心理学报,2005,37(4)：561-568.
[12]许传新、王平.大龄青年初婚与再婚择偶标准比较——对1010则征婚启事的量化分析[J].中华女子学院山东分院学报,2002,(4)：16-18.
[13]郭艳.从中国民谚看传统婚恋择偶观[J].语文学刊：高等教育版,2005,(3)：117-119.
[14]韩琳琳.浅谈“门当户对”的择偶观[J].文化百花园,2005,(4)：41-42.
[15]Anhalt, K.,& Morris, T.L.Developmental and adjustment issues of gay, lesbian, and bisexual adolescents:a review of the empirical literature[J].Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review,1998, 1(4):215-230.
[16]孔庆蓉,董红光.大学生婚恋心理研究[J].洛阳工学院学报(社会科学版),2002,20(3)：84-86.
[17]侯玉波.社会心理学[M].北京：北京大学出版社,2002.148-152.
[18]罗伯特·J·斯腾伯格,凯林·韦斯.爱情心理学(最新版)[M].北京：世界图书出版公司,2010：1-211.
[19]Davis, K.E.Near and dear:Friendship and love compare[J].Psychology Today, 1985,19(2):22-30.
[20]贾晓明.学习建立亲密关系：大学生恋爱心理分析[J].中国青年研究,2003,(6)：67-69.
[21]周春燕,黄希庭.成人依恋表征与婚恋依恋[J].心理科学进展,2004,12(2)：215-222.
[22]Simpson, J.A., Rholes, W. S., Orina, M., Grich, J.Working models of attachment,support giving,and support seeking in a stressful situation[J].Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin,2002,28(5):598-608.
[23]van IJzendoorn, M.H.Adult attachment representations,parental responsiveness, and infant attachment:A meta-analysis on the predictive validity of the adult attachment interview[J].Psychological Bulletin,1995,117(3):387-403.
[24]苏彦捷,高鹏.亲密关系伴侣在冲突中的行为及其归因[J].北京大学学报(哲学社会科学版),2005,42(4)：122-130.
[25]卿素兰,罗杰.大学生后悔心理调查[J].中国心理卫生杂志,2005,19(12)：810-815.
[26]张泽良.后悔心理之于沉没成本效应——支持或阻碍[J].甘肃政法成人教育学院学报,2008,(1)：123-125,
[27]胡谊.研究专家行为的实验途径：一种质性方法[J].心理科学,2004,27(5)：1195-1198.
[28]樊帮水,刘江楠,李茂秋,等.成都市大学生爱情观与恋爱关系适应的关系研究[J]中国学校卫生,2009,30(3)：231-232.
[29]李朝旭,姜璐璐,刘佳,等.“爱情”与“友谊”概念表征的差异[J].心理科学,2009,32(3)：672-675.
[30l霍建勋,杨翠英.大学生恋爱对人格塑造的影响[J].中国学校卫生,2005,26(12)：1013-1014.
[31]李煜,徐安琪.择偶模式和性别偏好研究——西方理论和本土经验资料的解释[J].青年研究,2004,(10)：1-11.
[2]Winch, R. F. Mate selection [M].New York:Harper & Brothers,1958.
[3]Greenfield, S.Love and marriage in modern America:A functional analysis[J].Sociological Quarterly,1965,6:361-377.
[4]Walster, E.Passionate Love[A]//In:Murstein, B.I. Theories of attraction and love[C]. New York:Springer,1971,85-99.
[5]弗洛姆.爱的艺术[A].朱荣贞,林和生,等译.弗洛姆文集[C].北京：改革出版社,1997：333-431.
[6]Rubin, Z.From liking to loving:Patterns of attraction in dating relationships [A]//In:Huston, T.L. Foundations of interpersonal attraction[M].New York:Academic Press,1974.
[7]唐利平,黄希庭.择偶观的进化论取向述评[J].西南师范大学学报(人文社会科学版),2005,31(3)：43-48.
[8]Norman, P. Li.Mate preference necessities themselves what their mates prioritize in them[J].Acta Psychological Sinica,2007,39(3):528-535.
[9]Gangestad, S. W.,& Simpson, J. A.The evolution of human mating:Trade-offs and strategic pluralism[J]. Behavioral and Brain Sciences,2000,23:573-644.
[10]蔡琴凤.择偶策略的影响因素[J].社会心理科学,2009,24(1)：24-28.
[1l]乐国安,陈浩,张彦彦.进化心理学择偶心理机制假设的跨文化检验——以天津、Boston两地征婚启事的内容分析为例[J].心理学报,2005,37(4)：561-568.
[12]许传新、王平.大龄青年初婚与再婚择偶标准比较——对1010则征婚启事的量化分析[J].中华女子学院山东分院学报,2002,(4)：16-18.
[13]郭艳.从中国民谚看传统婚恋择偶观[J].语文学刊：高等教育版,2005,(3)：117-119.
[14]韩琳琳.浅谈“门当户对”的择偶观[J].文化百花园,2005,(4)：41-42.
[15]Anhalt, K.,& Morris, T.L.Developmental and adjustment issues of gay, lesbian, and bisexual adolescents:a review of the empirical literature[J].Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review,1998, 1(4):215-230.
[16]孔庆蓉,董红光.大学生婚恋心理研究[J].洛阳工学院学报(社会科学版),2002,20(3)：84-86.
[17]侯玉波.社会心理学[M].北京：北京大学出版社,2002.148-152.
[18]罗伯特·J·斯腾伯格,凯林·韦斯.爱情心理学(最新版)[M].北京：世界图书出版公司,2010：1-211.
[19]Davis, K.E.Near and dear:Friendship and love compare[J].Psychology Today, 1985,19(2):22-30.
[20]贾晓明.学习建立亲密关系：大学生恋爱心理分析[J].中国青年研究,2003,(6)：67-69.
[21]周春燕,黄希庭.成人依恋表征与婚恋依恋[J].心理科学进展,2004,12(2)：215-222.
[22]Simpson, J.A., Rholes, W. S., Orina, M., Grich, J.Working models of attachment,support giving,and support seeking in a stressful situation[J].Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin,2002,28(5):598-608.
[23]van IJzendoorn, M.H.Adult attachment representations,parental responsiveness, and infant attachment:A meta-analysis on the predictive validity of the adult attachment interview[J].Psychological Bulletin,1995,117(3):387-403.
[24]苏彦捷,高鹏.亲密关系伴侣在冲突中的行为及其归因[J].北京大学学报(哲学社会科学版),2005,42(4)：122-130.
[25]卿素兰,罗杰.大学生后悔心理调查[J].中国心理卫生杂志,2005,19(12)：810-815.
[26]张泽良.后悔心理之于沉没成本效应——支持或阻碍[J].甘肃政法成人教育学院学报,2008,(1)：123-125,
[27]胡谊.研究专家行为的实验途径：一种质性方法[J].心理科学,2004,27(5)：1195-1198.
[28]樊帮水,刘江楠,李茂秋,等.成都市大学生爱情观与恋爱关系适应的关系研究[J]中国学校卫生,2009,30(3)：231-232.
[29]李朝旭,姜璐璐,刘佳,等.“爱情”与“友谊”概念表征的差异[J].心理科学,2009,32(3)：672-675.
[30l霍建勋,杨翠英.大学生恋爱对人格塑造的影响[J].中国学校卫生,2005,26(12)：1013-1014.
[31]李煜,徐安琪.择偶模式和性别偏好研究——西方理论和本土经验资料的解释[J].青年研究,2004,(10)：1-11.